Loneliness

We see animals in nature reject an offspring. Left on its own the offspring will more than likely not survive. If another animal, whether it be of the same species or different species, decides to take care of the abandoned offspring, the offspring will likely flourish. Humans also being animals will often reject their offspring also. The difference between the other animals and humans is cruelty. When any other animal rejects its offspring that offspring either parishes or is found by another "parent'. When humans reject their offspring, they don't set them free to let nature takes its course. 

Humans often won't even seek out a valid replacement "parent". Humans will reject their offspring and since it is illegal to just dump them on the side of the road, the humans will then take it out on the offspring in which they rejected for having to raise something they don't want. I referred to the rejected offspring as a thing because that is how the parents see the child after they have decided to reject it. It is impossible for the parent to see the child they rejected as a human because that would evoke their empathy within. 

In a hypothetical world where we live as the rest of the animals do. Where we just openly reject our offspring instead doing it in private and pretending to be a "parent". Where we don't punish the rejected offspring for being forced to still raise them. Where we allow nature to take its course. Most of our trauma would vanish. Rejecting offspring is a normal part of nature, yet we humans think we are above our very own nature and see rejecting offspring as such an "evil sin". Life continues on by selecting life that is best suited for the continuation of life. Sometimes a life form isn't compatible with life, and nature has its own methods for this situation. One of those methods is rejecting offspring.

When humans reject their offspring and continues to raise the "thing" in which they rejected. IT COMPLETELY FUCKS UP THE OFFSRPING!!! Often times beyond repair. When a human is rejected by its life form givers, it creates a belief within the rejected child that they are unlovable, and they would be better off if they didn't exist. Through in the abuse that usually comes along with being rejected and that creates a belief within the offspring where they believe they deserve pain and misery. When the rejected offspring is used as a workhorse and not allowed to express any type of individuality it creates the belief that they need to earn Love and attention and the only way they can exist is by serving others.

I was a rejected offspring. I was neglected, abused, and tortured. I was treated like an object and not a person. I was never allowed to develop an identity of my own. I have never had family. I have never wanted to exist, I have never known general happiness. I am hyper-vigilant of everything all the time. I am a highly sensitive person who more than likely is neurodivergent, just never tested since I never had anyone looking out for me. I was punished for my "quirks". I was punished for everything and nothing. I learned how to hide, how to become invisible. I have had depression and anxiety for most of my life.

The spiritual path comes very easily to me. The spiritual path is about letting go, I never really had anything that I could call mine so that was easy. The spiritual path is about dying before you die which is allowing the ego to die, I never developed an ego since I never existed as a human. Since my family are "Christians" which I use that very loosely, since they do the opposite of what Christ taught. I convinced myself that if I could be like Christ then I would be good enough for their Love. I became a pastor, a Doctor, and became completely selfless asking nothing and only giving. This entire site is a testament to me trying to earn Love. I also thought that since I couldn't seem to find anyone to help me, Love me, or just plain give a shit about me that maybe I could help others.

I give away all my Love because I was taught that I didn't deserve any. I punish myself because I was taught that I deserve to be punished for existing. I was taught that I was not and am not supposed to exist. I blame myself for everything because I was taught that I was to blame for everything that went wrong in anyone else's life. I have had an intensely deep feeling of loneliness my entire life that nothing ever seems to cure. I am an old soul because I was never allowed to be a child. I was the adult in the house even though I was the child. I have a very deep longing to connect with others but never seem to be able to figure out how to. I wasn't taught how to be in relationships with others, in fact I was even punished for any relationships I attempted to have. 

If you are a rejected offspring, you are not alone. I feel that loneliness just as deeply as you. I feel that sense of inadequacy all the time too. I have felt constant panic and dread just as you. I have felt extreme hopelessness and isolation. I have felt it all and I have felt nothing. When I discovered how my family treated me and when I started to see through the illusion of "family" I was imprisoned in, I turned to my "friends" and found out I had none. I now walk the path of solitude. It is what it is, Que Sera, Sera. Peace and Love friends!

Baby Blanket

Babies establish object permanence in order to feel a sense of security. Babies need that feeling of security in order to grow and function throughout the different stages of their life. A baby who does not receive a sense of security will turn into an insecure adult. Baby blankets can be used as objects that create object permeance as can Loving parental figures. A baby who has neither Loving parental figures or objects which are considered the babies, the baby does not learn object permanence and therefor becomes insecure. When we have our baby blanket long enough to develop object permeance, we no longer need to constantly reach for the blanket, since we learn it will be there when we are ready to come back to it. When a baby has a consistent Loving figure in their life they can develop object permanence.

The thing that probably surprised me the most on my spiritual journey is the realization that I was literally attempting to cling to my own body. My path is simply to let go and relax, I need do nothing. When I got for enough into the habit of relaxing, I discovered that I had this constant tension within my body and couldn't seem to figure out the source of it. I just kept practicing relaxing and I eventually realized I was trying to hold onto my body. The best way I could describe is my spirit body was trying to hold onto my physical body, which for anyone doesn't know, is impossible. I realized that I was using my body as a baby blanket. As a baby who lacked object permeance, at some point in time I started trying to use my body. When I got older, I learned that even my body could be abused and yet I still tried to hold on to it, if not even harder.

Anytime I feel tension or stress in my body I simply ask myself, "what I am trying to do" or "what am I clinging to". If I can feel that I'm trying to cling to my body, I simply let go and stop trying. Once you feel the relaxation that comes from not trying to hold the body it'll become as obvious as breathing anytime you attempt to grab on in the future. Tension comes from attempting to grab the body. Let go and see that it's impossible to hold onto. What is death? Letting go of the body, nothing more and nothing less. Simply let go of the body now and feel the freedom of eternal bliss.

The other major stressor is if I am "trying" to do something. Yoda was right on the money when he told us that there is no try. Trying is an impossibility. Repeatedly not doing something until you do it is what we call trying. Otherwise not doing something and never doing it is called failing. Likewise doing something all the time is called winning. It all still boils down to either doing something or not doing something. Try doesn't exist. So, stop trying and just do or don't do, in the end it doesn't matter for all that will be, will be. Love and Peace!

How To Love That Which You Hate

Let it go. Hate only appears to hide the Love underneath. Let go of the hate and the Love shines through. What does holding on to hate accomplish? Everyone loses when there is hate. Let go of the hate and you don't have to try to Love what's underneath, it's already there. Hate a person? Let go of the hate. Hate a thing? Let go of the hate. Hate death? Let go of hate. While in possession of hate, one finds it very reasonable and justified. One, having no possession of hate is able to see the absurdity of hate. Let go of hate, and the veil of love and hate fall away and allow the true Love deep within every being and thing within creation to shine through. 

The hardest thing to do in this world is to Love that which you hate. As long as hate is present, Love cannot be seen. Love is always present within us and by holding on to hate, we are using our free will to ignore the Love within all of us. The only way to Love that which you hate is to let go of the hate. Religions tell us to Love our enemies. Often times we hate our enemies which makes it impossible to Love them for we are not allowing it to shine through. Let go of the hate for you enemy and you will naturally Love them. It is a very simple process, we don't need to do anything. Simply let go of hate.

Hate wants us to do things. Hate wants revenge, retribution, and worries about karmic debt being out of balance. Hate is exhausting, it takes a lot of time, effort, and energy to hate. Simply stop doing anything and let go of hate. The amount of time and energy you will save will be incredible. You always have to try to hate, you never have to try to Love, Love is who we are, Love is the natural source within everything. A stream doesn't have to try to flow water through it, the water just flows. We don't have to try to Love, Love just flows through us. Hate is trying to dam the stream or redirect it.

It is easy to hate in this world when hate seems to be all around. Let go of hate and you will no longer so it in anything, you will only see the eternal Love shining through everything. Everything takes on its natural form which is Love. Love becomes a natural state from which all emanates. The physical differences of the world cease to have any relevance. You do not need to try to Love, in fact you cannot force yourself to Love. You do not need to Love anyone or anything. You do not need to do anything. Simply let go of the rope that you are using to play tug of war with hate. Sit in silent patience, needing to do nothing, and Love will make itself known. Peace and Love!  

Voices In Your Mind

If you are having conversations in your mind it’s because you didn’t feel heard when you originally had the conversation by the other person. You can stop these repeating conversations by allowing them to play out and allowing yourself to feel how you feel or how you would have felt at the time.

Allow yourself to say anything that you would have liked to have said but didn’t have the opportunity at the time. It does not matter that the person is longer standing in front of you to hear the conversation. You can say it out loud to yourself. You can write a letter to the person, even if you don't give it to them.

You are the one that needs to feel heard, that is why it keeps playing out in your mind. Listen to yourself when the other person wouldn’t and that conversation will stop playing out in your mind.

That incarnation of you will feel heard and no longer have a reason to keep coming back to your conscience awareness. Once again, a repeating thought our conversation within the mind, is a past incarnation that didn’t feel heard and/or validated.

Instead of attempting to “fight the demons in your head”, realize that they aren’t demons but simply past versions of yourself in need of something. In psychology this is referred to as healing the inner child, but we have an inner version of all of our past incarnations, not just the ones within our childhood.

When we attempt to fight our past selves, we create chaos which leads to anxiety and depression. These attempts can also lead to confusion, a feeling of isolation and deep loneliness.

Give that past incarnation validation and they will be silent. We all have the power to heal our past selves, and present selves, and it’s not hard. Most of us simply weren’t taught how to validate our own emotions or to heal our past selves. Which is why so many of us believe that we need someone else to complete us.

We believe that we need another being to validate us, to feel heard, feel seen, feel Loved. That is a false belief, in truth we have the ability to Love ourselves completely without “needing” anyone else. That does not mean we can’t have personal relationships anymore.

In truth by not needing others for validation and to feel heard. We are able to Love those around us more purely and selflessly. When we no longer “need” someone, we no longer try to use them for the thing in which we seek. We Love them just because of who they are.

When we Love all of ourselves, we are in turn able Love all of those around us, not out of necessity but out of choice. It’s a much purer Love than most of us are even aware of being possible. We can choose to Love without any needs. Peace and Love!

How To Know God

Question:

For as long as I can remember, I have always desired to know God. I believe that all of us are born with this desire within us. Where does this desire come from and why is it there? Is there a way to really know God or is that a special privilege only highly spiritual beings are allowed to have. I have searched my whole life, and I can't ever seem to find any logical explanations about God and how to know God. Can you please explain what God is to me like I'm five years old and also how I can know God. Thanks.

Answer:

The answer lies within the mistaken thought/belief that you don't know God. 

We humans like to pretend we don't know someone when we feel hurt in some way. If your spouse of 30 years cheats on you, you may find yourself saying "I don't even know that person". It is humans' way of coping with the situation. The truth is you still know this person, they are the same person they have been for the last 30 years. This part of them was always within them waiting to come out, you just weren't aware of it until it manifested into the physical realm. What you really mean is "I don't know this action from this person who I know". We associate the action with the person and we belief we no longer know them. In truth you will know that person the rest of your physical life.

Now think of a person that you know, but this time think of a person who you feel comfortable with. Someone you feel safe with or someone that you Love. If you don't have any humans in jour life, think of a pet, or a keepsake. Take a couple minutes to really focus on knowing them. When you think of knowing them, you don't need a description, you don't need words or names, and you don't need pictures. You don't need to utilize any of your senses in order to know this person. If someone were to ask you to describe how exactly is it that you know them, you find that there isn't really an answer, you just know them. 

That is the exact same way you know God. Humans know God, humans are part of God. It is an impossibility that we could ever not know God. The "fall of human" was the false belief that we don't know God. Have you ever found yourself angry at God? Have you ever found yourself wishing you had never heard of God? Have you felt hurt or abandoned by God? Have you tried to forget God but find it impossible and therefor you seek out God as a means of dealing with the pain of believing you are separate from that which you cannot be?

No one can learn how to know God, for that is an impossibility. One cannot learn to know what one already knows. How do you know that you know God? That desire of wanting to know God is the pull of God's Love pulling you back into God's warm embrace. If you didn't already know God that desire could never be there. How could you ever possibly desire something in which you have never known or have no knowledge of? It is the fact that you desire God that proves that you already know God.

As to what God is exactly, differs between every individual. God appears different to all that look upon God. You need do nothing in order to find out what God is, for the day comes for all of us when we will remember what we forgot. Next time you feel like you don't know God or you find yourself pondering what or who God is, simply become aware and stop doing it. Instead say to yourself

I know God. I know God in the same way I know all the beings in my life. I know God better than I know myself. I have no reason to seek that which I already know. I know God. There has never been a time when I have not known God. I know God.

If you want to know God, say these words until you believe them with every fiber of your being, for it is the truth. As soon as your memory of your knowledge of God reappears to you, you will just know that you know God. You will know who or what God to you as God appears to you. You will know God in the same way you know the beings who surround you. The difference between the knowledge we have of God and the knowledge of those within our lives is vastly different. Humans hide parts of themselves from other humans so no human can truly ever know another human. God knows all, God knows every thought you have ever had, and God knows everything you have ever done. God just doesn't care for God knows it means nothing. Humans know God infinitely more intimately than what is under human understanding.

Meditation practice: Think of someone you know or an object and focus on just the knowledge of them or the object. Don't focus on descriptions, words, or images. Solely focus on the knowledge of them. Focus on them for a few minutes, then switch your awareness to God and bring that feeling of knowing with you. Do not put any description on God, don't put God in a box, God is incomprehensible to the mind who believes God to be separate from one's self. Feel free to use the mantra, "I know God in the same way I know ____".  God is known without thought, idea, or concept. Peace and Love!