Denial

In order for us to cling onto our beliefs we are forced to live in denial. Denial that we may in fact be wrong. We are so terrified of being wrong that most of us never once stop to ask whether or not we may actually be wrong. We use any beliefs that we hold strongly as "evidence" that we are correct and that everyone else is wrong. Why do so many of us feel that being wrong is so horrible? We think that being wrong will make us look ignorant, when in fact stubbornly holding onto a false belief is what makes you appear ignorant. Acknowledging that we were wrong about something allows us to learn the truth.

Religion is used more than anything else to hold on to our beliefs and never consider that we could be wrong. Religion is the be-all and end-all for a lot of us. If we have a belief about really anything imaginable, we can tie it to our religion and say, "you can't question my beliefs, haven't you heard of freedom of religion". We use religion to blindly accept whatever is easiest to believe and never question it. There isn't anything wrong with religion and it's clearly necessary in our current world. Religion can be beautiful and bring peace to those who are truly open to it. Our problems come when we believe that we hold the only truth in our religion and everyone else is "wrong". When preachers tell us what we should believe, instead of just being a guide and protector.

There is no right and wrong. If you believe that you are right, you are wrong. If you feel the need to defend your beliefs, you are wrong. The truth doesn't need to be defended; the truth just is. The truth doesn't need words to defend itself, since words aren't real. If you need words to explain or defend your truth, it's simply not the truth. That doesn't mean it's not true to you, whatever you believe to be true is true to you, it's just not the absolute truth.

Life is one big mistake. Not a mistake in the sense of life being wrong or that life shouldn't be. I'm simply referring to the fact that everything that we do and everything that happens are all mistakes. Life cannot exist without mistakes. Life and mistakes are one in the same, you literally cannot have one without the other.

Let's examine this by starting at the time of conception. If we could make conception happen naturally at any given time and have the ability to pick the exact time in which we will conceive, unplanned pregnancies wouldn't be a thing, neither would abortion or IVF. The truth is that no one can plan when a conception of life will take place, there are methods that are used to improve the odds, but ultimately it all comes down to chance or a mistake.

After we are born, we have to learn how to eat food. All children make plenty of mistakes learning how to eat, choking on occasion, just enough to convince the parents their child will never make past their youth. We learn how to crawl, then walk both of which are filled with a plethora of mistakes, which is why we all rejoice when a child finally does walk after many failed attempts. We learn how to speak while making all sorts of mistakes by mispronouncing.

Heading off to school we learn the curriculum which is nothing but mistakes. If there weren't any mistakes, wouldn't every kid just get all A's and leave grading utterly pointless? Moving on to the adult world we get jobs and have to learn those, making so many mistakes we feel like we're going to get fired our first day, after only a few days we start to get the hang of if and eventually the mistakes disappear when we become familiar with our duties. Relationships are just one failed attempt after another, trying to find the correct person and situation which works best for everyone.

Anyone who has ever learned a new skill knows just how many mistakes they have made in their life just trying to acquire that skill. People with great skills are worshipped and adored because a big portion of humanity believes those are superhuman abilities. The truth is we only see the skill that was acquired through millions of mistakes, we don't look behind the curtain to see the hundreds or thousands of hours put into that skill. 

Obviously for the sake of time, it's impossible to go through every scenario in life to show the evidence of its being nothing but mistakes, we went with just a few examples, and you can feel free to explore this topic on your own time. You may ask just what's the point that we are getting to? Let me tell you. Since life is nothing but mistakes, wouldn't it make sense that our mind or set of beliefs act in the same way in which the physical word does. Children make plenty of mistakes in their belief system, the adults correct them and guide them to the correct beliefs to the best of their ability.

We all tend to reach a point in our development when we start believing all of our beliefs to be the "truth" unconditionally. Some of us go so far as to try to get others to believe the same way, the more people that share your beliefs, the more those beliefs are enforced. For some of us, we will choose to live our entire life out in denial, never abandoning our beliefs and go to the grave never having made a mistake with our beliefs. For others, they choose to find those mistakes in their beliefs and grow.

The truth is that we will never get better at anything without making mistakes. We will never grow if we aren't willing to make mistakes. We will never learn the truth if we live in denial. This is not about changing your beliefs, I don't care what you believe, you can believe whatever you want. This is about allowing ourselves to grow and evolve and not living in denial. 

Take a moment to pick a belief that you have about something, it could be anything, it doesn't have to be a belief about anything huge like God or the universe. It could be what you believe a banana tastes like. Why do you believe that? Where did you learn that belief? Have you ever actually thought about what a banana tastes like to you or do you just assume that it has a universal taste? How do you know that a banana tastes the same to everyone else? For all we know a banana tastes completely different for everyone who eats them, maybe there isn't a universal taste for bananas, maybe the taste is different based on the individual. How else could you explain that we all like different foods? If all food tasted exactly the same way for every individual, couldn't we assume that all food would be either universally loved or hated by everyone? Just something to think about.

The point is that it's not about changing our beliefs but simply to examine the origin, the reasoning, the authenticity, the truth. When we stop being of afraid of mistakes and start learning from them that is when we soar to untethered heights. One of the single greatest things I ever learned to say was "I Was Wrong." That one simple phrase allows us to humble ourselves before others while simultaneously opening space for new growth. When I discover I was wrong about something it brings a sense of unimaginable excitement, by being wrong and acknowledging it, that means the truth is free to come in. Love and Peace!

Don’t believe a goddamn thing anybody says but don’t be foolish enough to disbelieve it either. All you have to do is experiment with it; does it work or doesn’t work? If it works, you keep it, otherwise rubbish it, what’s the problem? - Sadhguru