Unless you're perfect you have made a mistake. We humans all make mistakes, usually on daily basis. Our pride tries to convince us that we are lacking in mistakes while it is everyone else who are the chronic mistake makers. By not acknowledging our own shortcomings and missteps we lead ourselves into self-regret, self-resentment, and sometimes self-hate.
How often do we make a mistake and then replay that mistake over and over in our mind. Each time we replay it we become more embarrassed of ourselves and feel more ashamed. Shame can be an ugly emotion when it comes around, it can lead to anger, depression, and anxiety. If we have enough shame, it may lead us to some dark places. We double down on our shame by telling ourselves how much of a failure we are. We say that we won't do the thing that caused us to feel ashamed in the first place and that'll fix the shame. We always end up doing it again anyway despite how much we don't want to, which only increases the shame that we feel. An endless cycle of making a mistake, feeling ashamed, promising ourselves not to make the same mistake, making that same mistake again and rinse and repeat.
The only way to free ourselves from this cycle of mistakes and shame is to forgive ourselves. So often we find it damn near impossible to forgive ourselves. Why is that? Why is it that we can forgive others of their mistakes, but we find it so hard to forgive our own? Could it be a lack of self-compassion? Maybe it's a lack of self-awareness, or the inability to even admit we had made a mistake. The single greatest thing anyone can admit to themselves is "I was wrong", the only way to forgive yourself is to first admit that you made a mistake. The second step is to be compassionate and understanding with yourself. Realizing that you aren't perfect, the same as everyone else. Thirdly forgive yourself. It's really that simple. That doesn't necessarily mean that you won't ever make that same mistake again, but if you do you know how to handle the mistake the next time.
We have this weird feature within us that makes us do things we're not supposed to do. Everyone knows the about the "big red button" analogy. We're faced with a big red button that says "do not push" and what's our first instinct? To push the button and damn the consequences. Our mistakes work in the same manner. We tell ourselves not to make that mistake again a.k.a. not to push the big red button, which in turn causes us to make that mistake again. It is only by 1. admitting we made a mistake 2. being compassionate with ourselves and 3. forgiving ourselves that we are able to free ourselves. The mistake is no longer a big red button that we aren't supposed to push instead it becomes what it truly is which is just a mistake.
When we are able to see a mistake for what it truly is, we are able to learn from it. That doesn't mean that we will never make that mistake again, it just means we will be aware of it. When we are aware of it, we can see how it makes us feel, how it makes others feel, and how it effects our life and certain situations. If we don't like how the mistake interferes with these aspects of ourselves, we will be motivated to change the behavior to improve our lives. Forgiveness is the path out of compulsory mistakes. The more we fight our mistake, the more they appear. The more we forgive our mistakes, the less significant they become and will eventually vanish from our lives. A person who practices self-forgiveness will never make a mistake again, they will only have opportunities to improve their wellbeing. Forgive yourself, you deserve to be forgiven, you don't deserve to be living your life in shame. All is well, all is forgiven. Love and Peace!