Dear friend,
I write to you as your friend who is concerned about you. I want you to be the happiest and healthiest person that you can be. I see that you still indulge in self-destructive behavior, and you fail to see that you're just playing out old habits. I see how much you look down on yourself for those old behaviors and how sad it makes you.
I know that you beat yourself up for your behavior, I know that you want to stop but you don't know how to. You started this self-destructive behavior because you needed it at the time. You needed the comfort and turned to a self-destructive behavior to get some dopamine in order to just feel alive. We both know that’s not who you are anymore. You are strong and smart and Loved; you don’t need to indulge in that behavior any longer.
I am here for you, and we will get through this together. First, stop beating yourself up about it. It's ok, you will be ok. You are strong! Second allow yourself to still do the self-destructive behavior but just reduce the amount of time you spend doing it. If you spend an hour on average indulging in self-destructive behavior, simply reduce the time to half an hour or if that seem too hard, try 45 minutes. You know what you can handle and what you can't. Do what you know you can do, as long as you're bringing your time down.
In the future when you're feeling stronger and more confident you can cut the time down even more. Eventually you may reach a point where you never do it again, or you may reach a point where you allow yourself to only do it a healthy amount of time. You will know when you reach that point but that is a long way off and not worth thinking about right now. For now, just cut the time down a little bit.
The reason you feel insecure is because you’re ashamed of your self-destructive behavior. I know that your embarrassed and feel ashamed, I know that you hide your behavior hoping no one will find out. It's ok. We have a plan now, so it’ll work itself out, just give it time. It’ll be ok. One step at a time friend. You’ll be where you want to be one day but for now, we’re going to focus on cutting back. You got this!
I Love you; it’ll be ok. People will see the real you! People will see how amazing you are, someone as beautiful as you can’t stay hidden. You are a precious gem, and you shine brighter than you can imagine, people will see that, there are already people who see you, you just don’t see them yet. You will though. You will achieve everything that you want, and you will have everything you want. You are AMAZING!!!
I Love you so much, Peace be with you.