This is a continuation of the post entitled Hell.
I leave the pits of despair in the depths of hell as I arise into the new world. Compared to the hell I just left, it's a million times brighter up here. My eyes are having a hard time adjusting, all of my senses are being overwhelmed. I feel butterflies in my stomach, I feel a peaceful terror in my soul. I feel every emotion and no emotions simultaneously. I feel the purest form of Love that I have ever known. It's as if the Love is flowing through me, around me, into me, and out of me all at once. I have never felt such a combination of peace and joy in my life. Words evade me as I am fully immersed into Love itself, as I become Love itself. Love now stands where I Used to stand. The realization hits me like a missile to my heart... this is... heaven.
My mind can't make sense of it, I had always heard about heaven, but I believed it was just a myth, something we tell ourselves to get through our shitty existence of a life. I mean after an eternity of being in hell, you kind of just give up any hope of a heaven at all, and you reach a point where you just wish for a painless existence. I had searched everywhere I could for so long that I thought I had proven to myself that heaven wasn't real, but here I am, I am standing in heaven.
My mind whirling in ecstatic disbelief comes back to my surroundings. I look down for the portal into hell and I can't find it. It vanished. I know it is gone forever; I know there is no way for me to ever go back to hell. I am here, I am free, I am in blissful ecstasy. I still can't see more than a few feet away from me due to the amount of information my mind is trying to perceive.
As my eyes start to adjust, I see figures illuminating within the brightness. I am surrounded by those who watched over me and protected me while I was in the darkness of hell. I am encompassed with their radiating Loving presence. I know I am home; I know I have finally found my home. I inexplicitly know that I have always been home, even when I thought I was in hell. I am barely able to process this brand-new overwhelming feeling of homeness before I start to hear music. At first it is very faint, and it slowly starts to grow in intensity. Before I know it, my mind is flooded with visions, memories, and experiences of which I am part of. My past is being rewritten and reformed into beauty. My experience of hell is being wiped out as if it had never existed. Hell is just a distant memory of someone who doesn't exist and who never did.
I know that I was in hell, I remember being there and yet... the memories of that place have vanished. Did finding heaven somehow change the past, and make it as if I were never in hell? Was hell just a dream? The beauty and sense of home in heaven are so powerful and real that it makes hell feel like it was just a dream, like it was something I imagined. Why would I have imagined myself in hell? Before the question can even fully form in my mind, I hear a voice tell me, I chose to imagine hell so I could truly appreciate heaven. I think of that saying, "you don't know what you got till it's gone". I am from heaven, heaven is my home, I wasn't able to appreciate it until it was gone. Hell is just the absence of heaven, in the same way that darkness is the absence of light. There is always light, even if we can't perceive it. We are always in heaven, even if we can't perceive it.
I came from heaven, which is my home, I chose to be born into the world and "leave" heaven. This world feels so real, that very shortly after coming into it, I forgot my memories of home and start to live in this world as if it were my home. As a child in this world, I start to feel doubt, guilt, shame, and embarrassment. I change who I am in order to avoid those unpleasant feelings. Since I come from heaven and have only ever known pure bliss, all of these worldly feelings are a little too intense and uncomfortable for my liking, so I do my best to avoid them all. I conform to the way of the world and by the time I reach adulthood in this world I am a complete mess of a person. I have suppressed my authentic self, I have repressed everything I didn't find enjoyable, and I am mad at everyone all the time, but mostly at myself for being so fake.
When we leave this world and depart from our earthly body, we simply return home, where hence we all originated. Most of us don't realize this fact until that moment when we leave the earthly realm. The only way to get through hell (misperceived absence of heaven) is to go as far into it as possible. It is only by fully going into hell that you are able to see that it was never there to begin with. When you find yourself in hell, keep walking. There is nothing else you can do. Once you believe there is a hell, the only choice is to prove to yourself that hell isn't real, the only way to do that is to follow it to its conclusion, whatever that may be. Love and Peace!