We discussed the individual dysfunctional family unit in Family - Part one, then we discussed the dysfunctional human family in Family - Part two. In this discussion, we will discuss what a functional family looks like and how we can achieve that within the human family as a whole. We all have a part that we can play in transforming our dysfunctional human family into a functional one with the goal of peace for all, if we so choose, and no one is forced to participate if they don't want to. The things that we will discuss about what a functional family looks like can be applied to anyone that we consider "family" whether it be a split off part of the whole or of the whole family itself. The seemingly smaller family units are still part of the whole family so this applies to all levels.
Too few of us are unaware of what a functional family looks like. If we were not born into a functional family unit, we were more than likely not taught what a functional family looks like or how to even be a part of one. We are then forced to learn for ourselves due to becoming aware that the current way just isn't working, look around and you'll see this as true. Sometimes we seem to fall into a functional family by marrying someone within a functional family unit and we become aware of how dysfunctional our unit is. Quite often many of us remain trapped with the dysfunctional familial habits since we don't know anything different. We are unaware that there is another way even if we can't see it or understand it.
A spiritual awakening is simply becoming aware of the truth that things aren't as they seem and the intuition that something just isn't quite right, and you know you're missing out on something, but you just can't place what it is. We feel this in the depths of our soul, and we can't explain the experience to anyone who hasn't had it for themselves. Having this spiritual awakening or realization that something is missing, we end up on a quest to find the truth, whatever it may be. Often times that means losing all of the people with whom we thought were our "family". We start to realize that many of the "family" we thought we had, weren't actually family at all but were just using us for their own gain. We also become aware that we were using them just as equally for our own gain which is why it is only our pride that is hurt when they leave us or when we leave them. It is only by realizing that our "family" is not who we though they were, that we are blessed with the ability to see the family of existence that was born out of and into Love.
A functional family sincerely apologizes, forgives each other, and changes the behavior that causes the harm to another.
A functional family treats each other with dignity, respect, and kindness.
A functional family strives to make each other's lives easier, happier, and brighter.
A functional family is there for each other and shows up for each other.
A functional family accepts each other completely, including all of the "faults". One of those "faults" may be the complete lack of willingness to make any effort towards being a functional family member. If a family member isn't willing to make the effort to be part of a functional family, there is simply nothing we can do but to Love them and let them go.
We are all one big family and that doesn't change whether or not we believe it, or if we can see it or if we even care. Being within close proximity to certain family members over others has no significance, it is only us who put significance on the smaller "family" units. Now how to we apply this knowledge about what a functional family looks like? First things first, we CANNOT force someone to change their behavior if they don't want to, having free will and all. If we Love a family member and would like to have a functional relationship with them, it will only work if they are putting in the effort alongside us, otherwise we will find ourselves just wasting our energy on an immovable object. Any family member who does not consciously make the decision alongside us, of their own free will, will only seem to hinder our progress towards achieving the ultimate goal of peace for all.
We know we can't get anywhere working with family members who have not chosen to bring peace about, for they have chosen the illusion of pain and suffering and since the opposite of pain is the illusion of pain and suffering. Which leaves us only one option, to work with the family members who have also chosen peace. We don't need to seek out anyone who chose peace for they will come to us when to time is right. Those of us who choose peace will work with anyone who is willing and able because we know that by showing peace to others, we show peace to ourselves and the whole of existence is raised to a higher level of peace. No one can disrupt our peace from within but ourselves, others may appear to disrupt our peace, but it is simply something within them that shines a light upon something within us that makes us uncomfortable. By finding our inner peace, we no longer have our peace disturbed by any "outside" force. By rediscovering our inner peace, we bring the peace of the world about. Imagine just for a moment how lovely a world would be where we all acted as one big functional family unit, instead of always being at war with ourselves. Love and Peace!