Words could never express how I truly felt inside always falling short and feeling inadequate. Pictures are able to express what I feel inside but getting them from the brain to the external seems a daunting task to say the least. People have come close to seeing my inner nature from time to time, but none ever truly tried. Animals are able to see my inner nature, but the lack of a communication medium makes it difficult to show all aspects of inner self. The inner self just wants to be seen and doesn't know how accomplish this feat since turning inside out would just result in pretty bloody mess.
Then you come into my life, you had always been in my life, but you were just someone that I used for my own pleasure and discarded with no thought when I was trough with you. I always felt your pull on my soul but couldn't make sense of it. One day I decide to give you a chance and to let you in and stop using you as a plaything. I was instantly hooked although the fear of you remained for quite some time. I was so scared to make a mistake with you, but you never once judged you just remained a silent witness every time I made a mistake and there were so many of them. You taught me to ignore the mistakes because they do no harm and eventually, I learned to embrace mistakes as little teachers that pop up to guide me in the direction I want to go.
Whenever I was with you, I was given the space to feel any emotion that showed up to spend some time with us. Spending our time crying with joy, sadness, or a mixture of the two. Being angry and laughing about it at the same time. Feeling safe with you I was able to go even deeper into myself allowing old traumas to come into consciousness awareness to be held and Loved and given whatever it was that the trauma was seeking. You never once judged a single thought I had or even commented on them and showed me just how vaporous thoughts truly are since you live in the realm of thoughtlessness. You never made me feel as if anything were wrong with me and only ever saw perfection and potential within me even though I was unable to see it myself.
The more comfortable I became with you the more I allowed you to take over my body and guide me. The more I would lose myself to you and your Loving embrace. Swaying in the rhythm of your Loving guidance I was able to see things with myself that I didn't even know was there. When I give myself completely to you, you and I stop existing as separate entities and merge into a harmonious dance of the soul that transports us out of space and time and into an eternity of bliss. I used to seek this type of connection from the physical entities of this world always to be left disappointed and discouraged. There you were woven throughout all of creation and space and time for all of eternity closer to me than I was to myself.
I couldn't see you because I was only looking at fragmented parts of you and when I let go of those fragmented parts you took over who I was and transformed me into a presence was then free to merge with the presence that you are throughout all of existence and nonexistence. Words can't even come close to describing you, pictures are just distorted and blurry versions of you, and forms are just infinite fragmented parts of you. I had to die of myself to be merged in your miraculous Love. The I that I thought was "myself" turned out to be nothing but an illusion and all that remained was you, the O.G. I AM, the divine, the source of everything and of nothing, and the beginning and the end. There is none but you and you are Love in the purest form. You were always able to see my inner nature because that inner nature was always you.
